This Is Us: Season 3 Episode 12

Do You Remember?

This episode presents a confusing issue that most families experience at some point. When Kate and Randall stop by their childhood home, they remember a time they were both home with their dad. As they unpack the memory, they realize that they remember the situation differently. Kate has a happy-go-lucky positive view of a glitter fight in the living room while Randall remembers the situation leading up to the glitter fight where his dad seemed angry and unstable. Kate is troubled by the fact that she doesn’t remember the beginning of the story and wonders if she has filed memories of her dad incorrectly. Here lies the concept that every child grows up in a different family. They can be under the same roof with the same parents, and the same siblings, but they will always have a different childhood. Children have different personalities, are different ages, have different experiences outside the home that all impact their perspective on what is happening inside the home. Randall and Kate handled the discrepancy well, but sometimes this can cause conflict between siblings. Sometimes one sibling has fonder memories of a parent than the other. One may have a hard time understanding why they other is upset with their parents and causing dissention in the family. The other may be hurt that their sibling doesn’t seem to recognize the pain they experiencedas a child. It’s important to note that memories don’t have to be the same to be true. Different things stand out to us because we are different people. Accepting this fact can help us validate each other’s memories while not feeling as if our memories are threatened. 

Some Things to Consider:

  1. 1. Have you ever had a different memory of an event that your friend, sibling, or spouse? What did you feel when you realized the memory was different? 

Knowing that memories can be different but still accurate, how might you discuss memories differently in the future?

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