Creating Family Structure

Boundaries with Family

Boundaries are rules and limits that you present in your interactions with others. They can be physical, mental, psychological and spiritual. Setting boundaries are essential to healthy relationships and are good mental health practice. It can, however, often be difficult to set boundaries with the people whom we are the closest. Setting and sustaining boundaries with family is a skill that needs practice.  

 

Here are a few helpful ideas on how to set boundaries with family:

 

  • Practice self-awareness- Understand yourself and your needs. Remember your needs and feelings are important. Setting boundaries happens when you understand your feelings and honor them.  

  • Name your limits- You aren't able to set good boundaries if you’re unsure of where you stand. So identify your limits. Ask yourself- What behaviors will I not tolerate? What kind of relationship do I want with my family?

  • Be firm, but kind- Setting boundaries doesn’t necessarily mean you have to be callous.When you set a boundary make sure you are clear. 

  • Keep realistic expectations- Be realistic with yourself about what boundaries you want to keep. Follow through with boundaries can be difficult, but keep at it and remind others of the boundaries you set.

  • Be direct and assertive- Don't drop hints or be passive aggressive about your boundaries. Being clear about what is okay and what is not okay is the only way you can make sure others understand you.

  • Take care of yourself and your needs- Practice self-care. Go for walks, read, or spend time alone. Make yourself a priority. 

Start small- Boundaries takes practice. Start with a small boundary and work your way up to more difficult boundaries.

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Creating Family Structure for Summer

Summertime can muster up mixed emotions. Most kids experience pure excitement with options of sleeping in, binging on Netflix, and more time with friends. Many parents dread the lack of school schedule predictability and feel inadequate to provide a healthy balance of growth and relaxation for their children.  Here are a few suggestions to help with creating a fun, learning centered summer for both parents and kids of all ages.

·      Schedule weekly family game nights –Daily socialization may be lower when out of school and some kids tend to find ways to get more attention using negative means. Kids long for positive attention from their parents, so knowing that there is a scheduled time for interaction and fun with the family will help funnel the energy! 

·     Create a summer bucket list – As a family, sit down and compose a list of fun activities and goals to accomplish before school starts back up. Let kids be creative and feel ownership in designing the timeline for completion. Marelisa Fabrega’s “Idea Book – 500 Ideas For Your Summer Bucket List” is a great resource. 

·      Construct a chore chart – Write out a list of household summer chores and let kids alternate picking a chore they would like to be responsible for until the list is fully covered. Decide which day each chore is to be done and allow them to earn privileges for going above and beyond or completing chores without prompting. 

 Teach money management and setting financial goals – Allow each kid to use their ingenuity and special gifting to find ways to make money. 

This link provides several ideas to get the entrepreneurial juices flowing: https://www.sixfiguresunder.com/ways-kids-can-earn-money/  

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