Counseling

Is Your Source Reputable?

A question I often ask my clients when they share a negative thought about themselves is “where did this thought come from?” followed by, “Is that persona reputable source?”. So often we believe that we are the ones telling ourselves how irresponsible, foolish, unqualified, unlovable, worthless, dishonest, or (insert your word here) we are. The truth is, this accusation has usually originated from somewhere else. Maybe it comes from an overbearing parent, an overdemanding coach, an emotionally abusive boss, or a bully from schooldays. Once we hear these things from others long enough, they start to become our own thoughts as well, and then we never get a break from being torn down. 

The good news is, more often than not, we find that the source is not reputable. 

Does your perfectionistic parent get to decide if your house is clean enough or not?

Does your acquaintance with different values, beliefs, and morals get to tell you if you’re raising your children correctly? 

Does your verbally abusive spouse get to tell you if you’re a good spouse in return? 

Is the troll on the internet the one you want telling you if you are in shape or not? 

No. Of course not. 

You get to decide whose opinion you listen to. We all need healthy feedback in our lives. If we went rouge and decided to make decisions completely on or own it probably wouldn’t end well. But we get to decide who influences us. 

Next time you start to feed yourself negative thoughts stop and consider:

  •  Where did this thought come from?

  • Is that person/source reputable?

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Podcast EP.03: Finding Your Emotions with Jessica Callahan

Jessica Callahan is one of the most sought after therapists in Dallas. She is skilled in many modalities including EMDR and specializes in trauma. In this episode Jessica inspires us to the best we can by exploring our emotions on a deeper level. To learn more about Jessica and her practice you can list her website: https://www.empowered-counseling.com/jessica-callahan

Website: https://taylorcounselinggroup.com
Email: info@taylorcounselinggroup.com
Twitter: @TCG_Dallas

Counseling Resources: https://taylorcounselinggroup.com/resources-1

Music: bensound.com

Disclaimer: No professional counseling advice is being offered to the audience. If you experience a life threatening emergency you should call 911 immediately or proceed to the nearest emergency room. The view's expressed by guest do not reflect those of Taylor Counseling Group.

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Dismissing versus Supporting

In the process of supporting our loved ones, it is easy to move from being supportive to being dismissive without realizing it. Maybe you have run out of things to say that may be supportive and do not know how else to help. 

Being dismissive minimizes the value of what your loved one has said and felt. But, it does not always come from a place of not caring. It can look as simple as what we think is supportive; “It will all be fine...You worry too much; take a break...That person is not worth your time...You didn’t think that would be helpful before...” These things can tell your loved one that their fears, concerns, and hurt are unnecessary but simply confuse the fact that those feelings already exist. 

Support can be offered in many ways. Most often, you will find that your loved ones simply need to feel heard. You may not have to say anything! Think about the times when you have truly felt heard. How can you pass that feeling along?

Make eye contact

Paraphrase what they've said

Ask for clarification if you’ve misunderstood

Simply gestures, like a nod, let them know you’re still listening

Empathy and validation let others know that their feelings and thoughts are acceptable and you can appreciate why they feel that way, even if you may feel differently about the same situation.

Other times, your presence may be more than enough. We have this sense of urgency to fill the voice when there is uncomfortable silence. But when a loved one is hurting, they may just need that silence to process their thoughts and feelings, with your supportive presence. 

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Creating Family Structure for Summer

Summertime can muster up mixed emotions. Most kids experience pure excitement with options of sleeping in, binging on Netflix, and more time with friends. Many parents dread the lack of school schedule predictability and feel inadequate to provide a healthy balance of growth and relaxation for their children.  Here are a few suggestions to help with creating a fun, learning centered summer for both parents and kids of all ages.

·      Schedule weekly family game nights –Daily socialization may be lower when out of school and some kids tend to find ways to get more attention using negative means. Kids long for positive attention from their parents, so knowing that there is a scheduled time for interaction and fun with the family will help funnel the energy! 

·     Create a summer bucket list – As a family, sit down and compose a list of fun activities and goals to accomplish before school starts back up. Let kids be creative and feel ownership in designing the timeline for completion. Marelisa Fabrega’s “Idea Book – 500 Ideas For Your Summer Bucket List” is a great resource. 

·      Construct a chore chart – Write out a list of household summer chores and let kids alternate picking a chore they would like to be responsible for until the list is fully covered. Decide which day each chore is to be done and allow them to earn privileges for going above and beyond or completing chores without prompting. 

 Teach money management and setting financial goals – Allow each kid to use their ingenuity and special gifting to find ways to make money. 

This link provides several ideas to get the entrepreneurial juices flowing: https://www.sixfiguresunder.com/ways-kids-can-earn-money/  

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