counseling

Recognizing and Negotiating Conflict

Problems and conflict are part of life - they are natural and inevitable. Conflict does not necessarily have to be a bad thing. When conflict occurs, the relationship may be weakened or strengthened.Not being able to recognize and address conflict can leave you feeling angry, upset, misunderstood or helpless. However, if the conflict is handled well, it can be productive - allowing both people to feel respected and validated. 

 

Healthy ways to recognize and negotiate conflict

  • Conflict must be viewed as a problem that can be solved mutually - finding a solution that is acceptable to both. 

  • Each person must participate actively in the resolution and make an effort and commitment to find answers which are as fair as possible.

  • Make conflict resolution the priority rather than winning or being right. 

  • Ues effective communication techniques- Use "I" statements, use empathy, and practice active listening

  • Focus on the situation rather than the person- don't attack

  • Ask questions using exploration rather than domination- Try asking open-ended question that provokes communication 

  • Be respectful

  • Brainstorm possible solutions together

 

Conflict is hard, but these are healthy ways to communicate and negotiate conflict. Remember conflict happens and it can be productive if handled with care.

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Loving Yourself

In the relationship conversation, the Five Love Languages is a hot topic, rightfully so. It is important to understand how one speaks/understands love in order to actually feel and receive that love. Why then, do we not consider this in terms of loving ourselves?

 

When the focus is on a duo, the tendency is to ask how each person is meeting the other’s needs. Often times when the responsibility is given to another person, our attention turns elsewhere. We’ve forgotten how to love ourselves. Similar to the concept of self-care, self-love should be another priority of yours, whether part of a duo or not. 

 

So, what is your love language, and how have you shown yourself love today? If you have not, consider reading The 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman. And, explore the ways in which you can meet your own needs first. It is widely quoted, “You cannot pour from an empty cup,” so let’s fill yours up first.

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Five Elements Of An Apology

Five Elements Of An Apology

Many times we feel that we have fully apologized to another person about how we have offended or wronged them. But the offended person may want to hear more than just the two words “I’m sorry.” They may have heard that apology several times from the same person and been betrayed or disappointed again by the same actions or words. So the simple “I’m sorry” can seem empty and meaningless. Use these five elements of a sincere apology and then put these elements into action to win a person’s trust back.

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Help! I am Having Trouble Sleeping

Help! I am Having Trouble Sleeping

We all need our sleep on a regular basis to function.  Trouble sleeping can be due to a variety of things but most among those most common are anxiety, stress, depression, changes in environment, less than comfortable sleeping arrangement, medical or psychological issues, or unhealthy bedtime or daytime habits

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