When couples are experiencing conflict between the two of them they often wonder about how to create a sense of stability in the home while they sort our their differences. When we return to a home that feels unsafe – whether physically, emotionally, or both – we are less likely to engage in resolution. Kids are often in the mix as well and parents are interested in making sure they feel safe despite problems in the marriage.
Conflict happens. It’s unavoidable in a relationship between two humans with their own thoughts, beliefs, and emotions. Finding a stable way of engaging in conflict can be a game changer. Here are some ways to make sure your conflict stays in check.
1. Do No Harm – as you search for resolution pledge to refrain from verbally or physically harming each other intentionally. There will be times that our words hurt each other, but there is a difference between saying something that is hard to hear and intentionally letting words fly below the belt.
2. Realize That You’re Part of the Problem – no one is 100% innocent. What was done to you may be way worse than what you have done but owning your part of the problem (and no more) will do wonders.
3. Treat Each Other with Respect – whether it’s in front of the kids, around friends, or just between the two of you, there is a way to communicate our concerns in a respectful way. Your spouse may not be acting in a way that you think deserves respect but there is some respect we all deserve as humans despite our behavior. Plus, it’s more difficult to yell at a person who is talking in a calm, cool, collected manner.
Give these tips a try during your next argument and make sure to note the differences you experience.