Do you ever feel like you are fixing someone to heal your past?
Sometimes people come into our lives, rather it be our children, friends, or romantic partners,
and we see a little bit of ourselves in them. We bend over backward to help ‘save’ them. We do
this without knowing ‘why’, until it hits us. “That is how [fill in the blank] made me feel”. So we
fight for them, we try to show them love and acceptance. We subconscious believe if they make
it through then I will feel validated.
I call this ‘Shadow Boxing’. Shadowboxing is when you are fighting with a past memory that you
cannot change nor run away from. Our shadows are with us wherever we go. We cannot out run
them and we cannot exist without them. So why fight our shadows? Why not embrace our past
and learn what we can from them. Stop ‘Shadow Boxing’ by learning yourself and knowing you
cannot save other people, unless they are willing to save themselves.