We’ve all heard the statistics about divorce and finances and how frequently one impacts the other. Finances are a hard topic to respectfully discuss because they symbolize control and privacy. For years you have been the only one in control of what you make, what you spend, and what you spend it on. To have someone else looking over your shoulder can make us feel out of control. Finances are also one of the only things in life that are labeled as super-private- not often the center of the dinner table discussion, or the fourth of July parade small talk. We don’t discuss what we make, what we spend, or what we spend it on. These two factors make discussing finances with your partner really challenging at first. Here are a few tips to take the edge off the difficulty:
- Don’t wait: Waiting until one of you spends $300 on a pair of pants to have the money talk is too late. Begin discussing this topic when you are calm and in good moods.
- Discuss values: Money is a hard topic to discuss because different people value different values in making, saving, and spending. Get to the root of the values first.
- Agree to have different opinions: Having different values in money can work if you are open to disagree and can respect your partner’s values.
- Be HONEST: Money is about trust so always vow to be honest with your partner or you could find yourself with larger issues with trust.
- Aim to listen and seek to understand: When both go into this conversation with a listening heart and head, you will respect your partner’s opinions and leave feeling more connected than when you started.