Sometimes people enter my office wanting me to provide the answer as to why they feel the way they do or are acting the way they are. They want a justification of sorts, a reason as to why they may feel out of control, or the solution as to how to feel better overnight. Quick solutions are few and far between but explanations are a natural desire.
After we figure out what’s been going on and what a temporary band-aid could be in the short term, we often get around to the beauty and power in owning our life story. When we decide that the reason for our current life story is out of our control or that we have no power over our thoughts, emotions, and outcomes- we pass that control off, letting someone else or something else decide the course of our life. You see, acknowledging, accepting, and taking responsibility for our own unique past and the current story gives us the control to change the course of the rest of it. It’s in taking responsibility and showing ourselves compassion that we find the grace and strength to keep going. Answers and explanations can be helpful in providing insight as to what makes us tick, but the true freedom in feeling better and living our best life is through the acceptance that those explanations or experiences don’t have to define us or determine our days. It’s in the acceptance that we find true fulfillment and freedom.
Of course, this is one of those things that is easier said than done but it is possible over time to truly learn to own who we are, where we’ve been, and where we are going.