Are you ready to have a serious relationship? Do you want to stop wasting your time dating for months or years, just for it to end? Get off the dating roller coaster. Start by looking back over your past relationship and decide what you liked and did not like. Formulate that list of wants for your future relationship. Most importantly learn from your past mistakes.
Once you meet someone, you need to ask yourself a few questions. Do they treat me better than I treat myself? Are they interesting? Do we have common values? Do I want to see that person’s face in the morning?
If you answer yes to the majority of these questions, please set up a 30/60/90 date rule. The idea is to be able to talk over ‘red flags’ in a calm respectful way. This means you cannot become defensive when you hear something you do not like and they cannot get defensive when they hear something they do not like. The key is “Calm and Respectful”. If you both cannot handle opening up about flaws in a caring manner then the relationship will not grow.
So, set a date 30 days after the both of you believe this relationship is going to become exclusive. At the 30 day mark, have a nice dinner. Talk over the issues – calming and respectfully. If this conversation goes well, set another date 30 days out. This is your 60 day date. Again talk about the old issues; did you get better; did they get better. Talk about new issues that might have popped up – Calmly and Respectfully. If this conversation goes well, set another date for 30 days out. This will be your 90 day date. During this date you talk over the previous issues plus any new issues then talk about if you want the relationship to move forward. If you both in agreement, then you have achieved a solid foundation of communication that will get you thru most of what the world throws at you. If not, then you know with your whole heart that you tried and it was not a good fit.
These dates are to help establish good communication skills that are key to having a healthy relationship. Remember to be Calm and Respectful during your interactions.