Having a crush while in a relationship is usually innocuous. Research suggests that having a crush on someone other than your partner isn’t necessarily harmful to a relationship as long as you keep it in check.
Choosing to act on those feelings, however, could turn an innocent crush into an affair. Learn when being attracted to someone else while in a relationship has gone too far, as well as ways you can improve your current partnership for the long term.
Is It Bad to Find Someone Attractive While in a Relationship?
Finding someone else attractive while in a relationship is an entirely normal phenomenon many people experience. While crushes are more likely to sprout up while you are going through a rough patch with your partner, they can strike at any time.
Perhaps you just started dating and have since been preoccupied with thoughts of a new person in your friend circle. Or, maybe you’re in a long-term relationship but have feelings for someone else. You may bask in this new person’s attention for hours afterward and wonder if being with them would be better — or hotter — than staying with your current partner.
Knowing When You’ve Crossed the Line
While having a crush on someone other than your partner is completely normal, there are some indicators you have crossed the line. Here are some questions to ask yourself to determine if your attraction to other people has gone too far:
- Are you engaging in micro-cheating behaviors such as hiding your interactions with the other person or sexting?
- Are you getting close to someone else just because you feel attracted to them?
- Are you emotionally cheating or forming a deep emotional connection with the other person?
- Are you dressing up to see the other person, affectionately touching them, engaging in exaggerated laughter, complimenting their appearance or making sexual jokes?
- Are you avoiding your relationship issues by focusing on others?
- Are you becoming obsessed with the other person, and is this affecting your sexual life or behavior toward your partner?
How Can I Work on My Relationship?
If you are serious about your existing relationship, it may help to address the issue. Deciding whether to tell your partner about your crush can be a tough decision. If you think it’s necessary to help them understand what you’re going through, share how you feel with compassion and gentleness. However, be aware that your partner’s feelings could be badly hurt.
What you need to address with your partner depends on your situation, but you may consider how you’ve been taking each other for granted or if you spend as much time together as you did in the past.
Get Help Dealing With a Crush While in a Relationship Today
Making changes in your relationship — if you want to continue it — usually takes determination and a willingness to work at things over time.
If you feel like you aren’t making progress on your own or would like some guidance in strengthening your relationship, counseling can help. Couples counseling is an excellent way of beginning the conversation or keeping yourself and your relationship on course.
If you’d like help strengthening your relationship or understanding what you’re going through, contact Taylor Counseling Group to book an appointment today.