People with Narcissistic Personality Disorder or narcissistic traits will often use manipulation tactics to help them gain control over situations, people and groups. Over time, these manipulations can take a toll on your mental health and well-being, leaving you feeling isolated or confused. Understanding a narcissist’s control methods can help you spot concerning behavior and protect yourself against it.
Table of Contents
- Common Narcissistic Manipulation Tactics
- How to Deal With Narcissistic Manipulation Attempts
- Set Strong Boundaries With Support From Taylor Counseling Group
The 7 Most Common Narcissistic Manipulation Tactics
While calling behaviors “narcissistic manipulation” can seem severe, many people are victims of narcissistic methods. Narcissists and people with narcissistic behaviors will show a pattern of manipulation that seeks to isolate and control their victims. If you think someone is using manipulation tactics on you or someone you know, being able to spot these strategies can help you set boundaries against them. Let’s look at several common narcissistic manipulation tactics you might have encountered.
1. Gaslighting
Gaslighting is a tactic narcissists may use to make you doubt your memories, thoughts and understanding. Essentially, a narcissist will try to convince you that something didn’t happen or isn’t their fault, even if that’s not true.
Blaming the victim, twisting facts and denying events are all common ways gaslighting can occur. Over time, being gaslit enough can make the victim feel insecure, confused and like they can’t trust themselves or their world.
2. Playing the Victim
Playing the victim is another manipulation tactic. In this strategy, the narcissist positions themselves as the person who is being wronged and suffering when they are actually initiating the conflicts. The narcissist might even fictionalize situations or exaggerate their struggles to garner sympathy.
Narcissists play the victim to avoid taking responsibility for their actions and manipulate other people into feeling sorry for them.
3. Projection
Projection happens when the narcissist puts their own actions, feelings or thoughts onto others. For example, if the narcissist is lying about something, they might accuse a friend or partner of lying. Accusing others of their own actions and feelings lets narcissists put blame on others.
This manipulation tactic also helps them avoid confronting their issues and blame their actions on someone else.
4. Love Bombing
Love bombing is a manipulation tactic narcissists will use to reel in a romantic love interest. They shower their partner or target with lots of affection — compliments, gifts, attention and special events to gain their trust and let their guard down.
Once this intense early affection stage has hooked the target, the narcissist will show their true colors while using the trust from the initial love bombing to manipulate the victim into staying with them.
5. Triangulation
Triangulation is a technique that involves creating tension or conflicts between people and groups. This tension-creation lets the narcissist feel powerful, as they can manipulate and control their targets.
Typical triangulation strategies include playing people against each other, gossiping or spreading rumors to create conflict. Narcissists are attracted to the level of control over others that triangulation can provide.
6. Hoovering
Hoovering is another narcissist’s manipulation tactic. Named after the famous vacuum brand, this method’s goal is to bring targets back after they have put space between them and the narcissist.
Narcissists will make all the apologies and promises to change to get the victim back with them. They might even try to make the victim feel guilty or responsible for the issues the narcissist caused.
7. Smear Campaign
A smear campaign involves the narcissist spreading rumors or lies to harm someone’s reputation and isolate them from their support network. Portraying the victim in a negative light keeps them from getting the trustworthy emotional connections they need, giving the narcissist more control over them.
During this tactic, the narcissist might also resort to tactic #2 – lying or exaggerating to make them seem like the innocent victim. Narcissistic manipulation tactics often work together.
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How to Deal With Narcissistic Manipulation Attempts
Dealing with narcissistic manipulation can be challenging. A narcissist might make you feel alone or guilty, even if you’ve done nothing wrong. However, there are strategies you can use to help protect yourself from these tactics and maintain your well-being despite the narcissist’s attempts. Use these strategies to help you deal with manipulation tactics:
- Spot the manipulation: Knowing what you’re dealing with is the first step in managing manipulation tactics. Understanding the manipulation tactics and how they work can help you identify when you’re being manipulated. If you know someone is trying to manipulate you, you can ground yourself and reassert your trust in your own perception of things.
- Set boundaries: Set clear boundaries with the narcissist and communicate with them assertively. You have to enforce your boundaries firmly. Otherwise, the narcissist will attempt to push them over time. Be firm in your refusal to engage in conversations or activities that make you uncomfortable.
- Limit contact: You might have to consider limiting or cutting contact with the narcissist. If their presence in your life becomes too toxic, overwhelming or manipulative, it’s OK to step away. Limiting contact can be setting boundaries about communication or removing yourself from their life completely. Put your mental health first and only engage with the narcissist if it fits within your boundaries.
- Trust yourself: If a situation feels manipulative or even just off, trust your gut and step away. Narcissists rely on manipulation tactics to make you doubt yourself and compromise, giving them control. Prioritize your well-being and pull back whenever a situation feels unhealthy to you.
- Seek support: Narcissists may try to use their tactics to isolate you, framing themself as the only person you can trust. Try to surround yourself with a support network of people who can help you stay grounded and provide advice. With a strong support network, you can keep the manipulation a safe distance away and regain your stability.
- Try professional help: If you think the manipulation tactics are having a significant effect on your mental health, consider turning to a professional for help. Professionals who specialize in narcissistic abuse can provide strategies, advice and support to help you heal from your experiences.
Set Strong Boundaries With Support From Taylor Counseling Group
Spotting narcissist control tactics and setting boundaries against them can be challenging on your own. Build a strong support network with help from the professionals at Taylor Counseling Group. Our experienced team will help you develop the skills and strategies you need to support your mental health and protect your well-being. We offer locations across Texas — make an appointment with us for in-person or telehealth services today!
